7/10/00 4:57 AM
I know, I know, I haven't written much
here lately. Have been keeping daily log on programming studies and
writing lots of emails. Mostly to -----. Some to women I am trying to
meet (wasn't my sex drive practically nonexistent a week ago? and wasn't
I happy about it?). Got one juicy bite from a personal ad left in
netscape netcenter / digital city NY.
Gymnast/psychopharmacologist/cook/camper. Very friendly and bubbly like.
Hope to hear form her soon.
----- finally replied in kind to my long series of rantings, most of which were just bouncing back things I read in his online journal. I really don't like the idea of publishing my journal online. Not like the one I'm writing now. A lot of things are too personal, expressed in Chasterus's Secret Code to Himself only. And should remain that way. I do sort of like the idea of not doing things in private that i wouldn't do in public, but, yes, i masturbate a lot and i'm not ready to do it out on the street.
I'm really feeling a bit trapped at work. Like I don't belong. Time to move on. ----- of course invites me to come live with him on his couch, free to "live on rice and beans and study compsci 10 hrs a day." This is really tempting. Maybe when I've erased the debt monster, I'll consider something Bohemian like that.
As an experiment (whose results I
already have decided to expect) I am refraining from drinking alcoholic
beverages for a longish period of time. Like a few months at least.
I expect to improve my learning curve and memory, which are now worth a great
deal to me. I hope to find improvement in my sleep patterns (less sleep
time, better rest, no more insomnia). And in general I hope to enjoy an
overall improvement in physical and mental health. I did the
binge-before-quitting ritual Friday and Saturday, actually needing those two
days/nights to kill of the second bottle of Ricard I schlepped back w/me from
Paris on my way back from Stuttgart. I really want to see if i can get to
the point where I can understand Knuth.