June 11, 2000 12:16 - reverie during meditation in between poker hands
...narrow country road outside of La
Chaussee, Herisson, France. Summer, nighttime. I remember -----
sucking my dick there, my eyes on the lookout for oncoming headlights. I
came in her mouth and she swallowed. She always did.
...the neighborhood surrounding 326
Spring Street in the summertime...
...wrote a letter to ----- after all
these months... when did I leave her lying there? right around
Valentine’s Day. I’m not hurt or angry anymore, I’m just sorry....
...Atkins shake ok with ice, needs a
good extra charge of cocoa powder. some extra garlic for the cold.
i am feeling better. one thing at a time. simplify.
...a letter to -----, whom I missed in
Stuttgart owing to a miscopied phone number...
...a letter to -----...
...a letter to -----. What
a hottie. dang....
6:17pm
at present rate of earning (5.5hrs 4
times plus 14.5 hrs once per week times $15) my club account will have reached
0 in approximately 11 weeks. Until then I am BROKE, really broke, like
WATER. Must pay rent and bills and groceries with what precious little
remains in my bank account (all told about $2k). No unnecessary expenditures,
none at all. So I shall be a pauper until the end of August. Well, maybe
one little eensy weensy long weekend to Rochester or Portland.... I must allow
myself that one. Drat. Gambling is a bitch.
The trip to Stuttgart reminded me how wealthy I am; how little money matters. People matter so much more.
Daydreaming: what if I lived
in a little VW camping bus like I did that summer? And could freely move
from place to place, south in the winter, north in the summer? And could
do all my work (computer programming / writing / IT gambling / music?) on a few
laptops and beam everything into the IT via wireless, which should be ripe for
such use within a few years. That would really rock. No rent to
pay. Just park in friends’ driveways and campsites etc. I really
like that idea. Writing code just outside of monument valley, writing a
novel in New England, playing backgammon tournaments in a cafe in
Seattle. LET’S GO. There is much to be said for the flexibility
I’ve preserved for myself.