7/13/00 5:16 AM
I can't stand working at the club
anymore. I'm surrounded by idiots, loathsome hunks of flesh, senile
elderly, and young pisants. ----- and ----- always want to tell me all
their problems. ----- and ----- are losing their marbles and becoming
intolerable. Most of the sane and intelligent people there are simply
rude as hell. How have I gotten along all this time? It feels like The
Matrix, waking up in a tank of fluid connected to loathsome tubing that
sucks the life out of you slowly, when all along you thought you were in a big
city, a real planet. I feel stressed constantly. I can't get any
relaxation or relief. Something has snapped inside of me. I gotta
get out of there.
----- got a job, a big job, with
Maxis - the Sim company. He says he could arrange for an interview for me
there, has faith I could do it even as a beginner. I am so, so tempted.
But alas, it seems like I hit the
middle of a book and all of a sudden I have no clue what's going on. Am I
just pissy 'cause I quit drinking and don't know how to de-stress
otherwise? Whatever's going on, I don't like it. I'm burning rubber
here. It's a high octane headache.
Tonight as I was closing up the
nightmare of some evil presence in the club came to mind and I got suddenly
very creeped out. Paranoia, haven't felt it in so long... even the subway
seemed lightly menacing.