5/21/00
OK, here goes nothing..... it's so much fun to take out this little portable keyboard that I've decided to try keeping my journal on the Palm using it. This way I get to play with my toy every few days or so at least, and it gives me an excuse to tote the thing around with me as well. Maybe I'll even learn to type...
Tab function doesn't work. Hrmph.
So, the basic huge news is successful entry in to the ----- game, probably the highest equity decision I've ever made in my life, and certainly the most volatile. So far I'm stuck 3 points plus fees but I'll live. To ----- I owe the great debt, as it was his few words of encouragement that enabled me to proceed despite many reservations. "it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission," he said. Whatever mores and ethics one wishes to bring to the situation, the mechanics of it are simply true. Had I first asked ----- and ----- for permission to participate, the answer would almost certainly have been no. But once I was already in, it was, in a sense, too late to do anything about it without disruptive force, and once they both woke up the next morning to discover the planets still revolving about the sun in their various orbits and everyone in the club still alive and happy, they probably then saw no tremendous threat to their well-being in my giving that precious drop of action in the bucket of -----. This is now the third day of my involvement, and ----- seems to have calmed down considerably. I was actually a bit surprised that ----- initially seemed to have no quarrel with me getting in, were it not for the fact that ----- was quite upset by it. Both of them, I surmise, are intelligent enough to infer that the mathematics of my position would dictate that I quit my job in order to play against -----; the choice of earning $12k as club manager versus $40k as action taker leaves me little choice.
I went out and played a little this weekend, during which my fortune was made and lost etc., winning $3300 on Friday and losing $3600 on Saturday... "Dinosaur" at a theater near the club (Disney, damn them... who gave them license to connect directly to my emotional center? How can they make my eyes well up with water in sympathy for a stream of pixels, who can barely feel for his neighbor?) and later that evening, "U571" with ----- at a new theater on 42nd St. with great sound and excellent seats. ----- turns out to be a very nice fellow, and I fear I have unfairly judged him all this time. He is a little spacey and absent-minded, but these things are to be understood and forgiven, for his good qualities outshadow these by miles. As to his trustworthiness, I do still reserve some hesitation about his ethics in business, but this should not deter me from liking him as a person.
I must be on my way to work.... a
pity, since I am well in the mood to write volumes here.
10:50 pm at work
Lost 24 points v ----- today. I
may be stuck, but I am still happy. Perhaps another week to straighten
out the score in that game.
Where was I? Saturday night I went to the club at about 9pm to play ---- for old time's sake. We played till just after midnight and I then headed out, walking downtown on 2nd Ave., towards the 11th St. bar, making a 2x Anchor Steam and Landjaeger stop at a nice pub on... what was it? like 31st St or so. About 2am they closed, so I made my way further to my original destination. I sat for a long time, a little wasted, nursing a Guinness and reading Moby Dick on the Palm, until around 3:15, When ----- came in and sat over on my wing of the bar. It took a while for conversation to begin, but once it started it continues smoothly until we finally left and went our separate ways at around 6am. She's an interesting gal. My first impression was one of slight shallowness, but fortunately my first impressions are very often incorrect, and she has some depth to her. She showed me most of her tattoos, which, though done in a hodgepodge manner, a la kids decorating furniture with stickers, the work is all tasteful and well done (excepting the original rose, which is a cover-up of something miserable). I had moments of thinking about going home with her, but it somehow felt better to just have friendly conversation. I feel I'm so hungry for affection that I might devour or burn the first woman who offers it to me; thus out of protective motives must I be cautious about my romantic endeavors. Most of the scars left over from ----- have healed; some from ----- still remain, though these were mere flesh wounds in comparison.
Anyway, having already exceeded the
4k maximum allowed for one memo file, I shall now conclude this, my first entry
in to the Palm electronic journal.