7/26/00 2:56 AM
I think this is the first time feelings
like this have ever come up. You know me well; you know by now that I
more or less never want to have children. Yet something in ----- changes
that. I suddenly feel not only that raising a family seems like a
fascinating idea, but a challenge I could probably meet well (though a great
deal of nervousness accompanies this). Read our emails since we met last
Friday. Little gifts we construct of thoughts and feelings and words for
one another. Long-term? Marriage? FAMILY??? CHILDREN??????
wow, what the fuck is happening to me. When is she going to turn out to
be a helpless psychotic in disguise? I have no fears of that. And
I'm not afraid of my desires to 'go domestic'. She seems like the one I'd
want for that. Or someone very much like her.