5/30/00 3:12 am
The dilemma grows more and
more intense. My gut says get out; I'm losing 97 points plus fees.
There is too much strange stuff going on - ----- calls all the shots, the playing
area is completely encapsulated and no kibitzers are allowed inside (since
which condition I has won 8 of 9 sessions, losing only 2 points the one
time). Either he is on a terrible hot streak or the other two are
performing miserably or something fishy is happening. I, unfortunately,
can't completely rule out the latter, though general consensus has it that I
would have no motive to cheat, despite the questionable mores of ----- and
especially -----. I will, of course, be utterly heartbroken if perchance
I jump ship and I loses 100 points tomorrow. I am certain only of one
thing: I have lost a great deal of money and will have to pay it back slowly,
possibly going into debt against one or more credit cards in order to ease the
burden on the club. The whole experience has given my new perspectives
into life and gambling, increasing greatly my respect for certain or nearly
certain outcomes. Tomorrow I am scheduled to work the entire business day
and must therefore theoretically be in charge of the ----- chouette (four
overtime players in the club now.... will I get any sleep?) and I'm just not
sure what to do... I2's out already, ----- thinks something funny's going on,
----- doesn't know, etc. ----- got killed today, maybe that will
put some fight into him.
Confirmed my flight and bought plastic baggies for daily vitamin packs, but otherwise I've done little in preparation for my transatlantic excursion on Wednesday. As the flight leaves at 6:55 pm, I will have sufficient hours during the afternoon to pack and tie up loose ends. ----- called today, missing me by just a minute or two, saying ----- would be tied up and she would be receiving me at the airport, and that ----- is flying into Stuttgart from Berlin! I feel honored.
----- has accepted a job offer from -----, for which she will be flying to Cancun for "two weeks to a month." She will be leaving a day before I return from Germany. I will have to tend to the cats. Not sure I'm looking forward to all that, but I hope everything works out for ----- through this.
Today is Memorial Day, and the annual street festival was going on Broadway in Astoria. Wall-to-wall people, very busy; got some delicious but not cheap lamb from an outside grill at Lemonia and for $12 picked up a shoulder bag / saddle bag / fanny pack sort of thing, just what I need to carry small crap to work and onto an airplane (Palm, Keybd, phone, passp, tix, Atkins bars, etc.) It is well manufactured of decent materials and looks well. The walk to work today was fine - Roosevelt island - got hit on (?) by a woman on the tram, stared at by two others. What's up with that? As soon as I try my hardest not to think about sex, all of a sudden it comes on like that.
Record low of 182 lbs this morning. Must continue regular intake of psyllium husks... bowel movement vastly improved and regular. Back into green tea, leaning away from coffee. No crash from green tea, and it never feels like something bad for me, even in huge quantities.
I'm thinking I can swing a thousand
dollars a month.... reduce my debt to the club by that much will be my
goal. Have to see what ----- and ----- think about that. They
mentioned a few weeks ago that a raise was on its way and offered to provide me
with health coverage.... I asked them to give me time to think it over, but I
think it's probably an excellent decision to get some, whether or not it
involves being "on the books" is another matter; I certainly want to
avoid The Spooks for as long as possible. I have a funny feeling I'll get
a job offer in Germany and want to stay.